I started writing this at 5am, feeling sick with anxiety and wondering how I was going to deal with everything ahead of me. Since then, I've self-certified from work, spoken to my social worker about what happens to almost 36 hours of my support, and discovered that legal representation for the next stage of my appeal could cost me between £3,000 and £4,000. And I'm still waiting for the NHS's full written explanation of why its decision was made.